Q's Corner

I named my blog Q's Corner after my 8 month old daughter who passed away 14 years ago. After 3 boys I thought.....Yes, a Girl! She was born 9 years after my last son was born. My sons were 9, 10, 11. She was the Princess of the family. For eight months I dressed her in frilliest clothes, with ribbons in her hair. I used to always dress my little boys to the hilt with the hair just so and a dab of Daddy's cologne, but now, I have a little girl, and she to deserved some doting. On Decemeber 11, 1995 Quinlyn and I went into town (Durango, Colorado) and bought some supplies for the family that my son's classroom was sponsering. We dropped off our donations, and headed home. Once home, I took my sleeping little girl out of her car seat and laid her down. Later that afternoon, about 3:45, the boys came home from school, and my middle son asked if he could wake Quin up. I told him that he could. When he brought her out to me, he told me that she was burning up. I took her from him and took all her clothes off and took an axillary temp. It was 104.8. I called teh doctor immediately. The response I got from the nurse was one I was not expecting. "Dr. *** is on her honeymoon and the rest of the docs are busy seeing patients and the office will be closing in about an hour, after that you can call the office back and the doctor on call will be able to take your call." I told the nurse what her temp was but she just dismissed it to the flu that was going around. In the meantime I am looking for my husband, whom I cannot seem to find. I tried finding a babysitter for the kids and everyone I called either seemed busy, gone or just couldn't do it. By the time all was said and done, there had been 8 phone calls to the doc on call who told me to keep her home and rotate the Motrin and Tylenol every 4 hours, and put her in a luke warm bath (things I was already doing), it was 9 p.m.. I got her temp to 102.8, and I finally found someone to watch my sons, when my husband walks through the door. I tell him I am taking her to the ER. He asks me what the doctor had to say, then he tells me that I am making mountains out of mole hills. Needless to say, I don't go. Fast forward to December 12, 1995. I woke up with her lying next to me. I got up to get the boys ready for school. I kiss them and see them off. I go back over to Quin who is convulsing. My husband thought she was hiccuping. I threw on some clothes, put a bag together for her, wrapped her up and set off for the hospital. After 8 hours at Mercy Medical, they decided to fly us out to Denver Children's. After 3 or so hours there,they pronounced her dead at 7:20 p.m.. Brain dead. Spinal Meningitis as the cause of death. I was there alone holding my baby girl wishing it was me in her place, begging God to give her my life, but he wouldn't. There is never a day that she isn't on my mind. Every chance I get I pay tribute to her, because in her short little life, and in her death she showed me that each day is a great day, and to never take anyone or anything for granted. I wanted to walk away from my faith, but I couldn't knowing she was with God, so my faith got stronger. She also helped me to be a better me by never giving up. Always pushing. Had I had listend to myself that night and not my husband, who knows if she would be here today. I do know this, you are given an instinct for a reason. It is your choice whether you choose to follow it. I did not follow my instinct that day and I paid a heavy price. Did I know the outcome? All I know are the words I said to my husband that fateful night, "If something happens to her, it will be on your head, not mine". But it is on my head, even though I wanted to take her that night, I chose to listen to someone else and not my own heart.

Daily life can be so inconvenient.

In just the last few weeks my life has changed so much.  I have so much on my plate and so little time to deal with it.  I want to give every little part a piece of me, but then fear that nothng will be left over.  Although I know that isn't true, history has proven that.  Sometimes I just feel that I have bitten of more than I can chew, especially when I add classes into the mix.  [Every semester it's like looking at a buffet, except your just not sure what the menu really is until you actually have it on your plate.  By the time you get back to the table, you're not really sure you want what you have on your plate.  But then, every semester is like.]  I look forward to the end of the semester, so that I can have that time back with my family.  Family is my life.  That is the reason why I am continuing my educaton.  I hope to better my family, and myself. 
I also want my sons to see their mother as someone who never quit and as one who believes that a good education, however inconvenient, makes for better knowledge, a better job, and hopefully a more fulfulling life. 

Hum 101

This is a test.  Testing 1, 2.  Ch. Ch.
Am I coming in?